“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” — Stephen R. Covey
When you do tough stuff, stress comes with the turf.
It’s not a question of whether you have stress in your life. It’s a question of how you manage the stress in your life.
Overwhelm is a big deal and many people I know are doing their darndest to deal with it.
As a high-performance coach at Microsoft, I’ve had my fair share of dealing with overwhelm.
I’ve learned how to manage chaos and stress effectively through tools and principles.
I’ve also helped numerous individuals, teams, and leaders do the same.
In this guide, I’ll share eight smart strategies that can help you conquer overwhelm and lead a more balanced life.
These strategies have been distilled from real-world experience and are designed to be clear, actionable, and transformative.
8 Smart Strategies to Conquer Feeling Overwhelmed
When it comes to stress and overwhelm, it comes down to simplifying, prioritizing, and focusing on what truly matters both in your personal and professional life.
By implementing these strategies and taking proactive steps, you can regain control, reduce stress, and tackle overwhelm with confidence and effectiveness.
Here are the 8 smart strategies to conquer your overwhelm:
- Win Your Mornings
- Find Your Transition Rejuvenation Moments
- Find the Main Culprit of Your Overwhelm
- Build Boundaries Around Your Time and Workload
- Create a “No” List to Deal with Feeling Overwhelmed
- Challenge Your Perfectionism
- Outsource or Delegate the Tasks that Drain You If You Can
- Challenge Your Assumptions
Let’s walk through each strategy…
#1. Win Your Mornings
You need a morning routine to start your day from a place of strength, energy, and focus.
If you start the day better, you have a better chance of your day going better, and you have a better chance of closing your day better.
The opposite is true, too. If you start your days off poorly, it can be hard to recover.
You day can overwhelm you.
Your morning routine is your best tool for helping you win your day overall.
I wrote about startup and shutdown routines in my book Getting Results the Agile Way because I found without them, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and fall into a place of chaos, confusion, and of course, overwhelm.
Think of your morning ritual as the warm-up before a big game. Just like athletes stretch, strategize, and mentally prepare before they step onto the field, your morning routine sets the tone for your day. Without it, you’re like a player thrown into the match without any warm-up.
A strong morning ritual is your game-changer.
It’s your time for self-care, goal setting, and getting your head in the right space. It’s when you align your actions with your daily priorities.
By dedicating this time each morning, you’re essentially gearing up for a proactive and purposeful day. Instead of reacting to whatever life throws at you, you’re in control, ready to take on challenges with confidence.
Don’t underestimate the importance of your morning routine. It’s your playbook for the day, ensuring you start with purpose rather than chaos.
David Goggins, former Navy SEAL and author of Can’t Hurt Me, often emphasizes the importance of winning your morning as part of his motivational and self-improvement philosophy.
Goggins is known for his discipline and mental toughness, and he believes that starting your day with a structured and productive morning routine can set the tone for success throughout the day.
#2. Find Your Transition Rejuvenation Moments
Just like “leadership moments” and “learning opportunities”, there is a special kind of moment in your day.
“Transition Moments”
You have lots of transitions in your day, whether it’s from task to task or from meeting to meeting or place to place.
“Transition Rejuvenation Moments” involve inserting a brief pause between two significant activities to refresh your mind and body.
This is about slowing down to speed up.
When you are in between meetings, or switching tasks, or even going from work to home, it’s your chance to hit reset.
Take your breath. Recenter yourself. Refresh yourself. Renew yourself. Rejuvenate yourself.
Choose how you want to experience your next moment, and how you want others to experience you.
For instance, if you’ve just wrapped up your email work and are about to dive into creating a presentation, take a moment to close your eyes, take ten deep breaths, stretch, and grab a drink of water.
Then, return to your desk and ask yourself, “What’s my intention for this presentation?”
Similarly, after a long commute home, instead of rushing into the house, take five minutes to meditate in your car or go for a short walk around the block, focusing on deep breaths.
As you approach your home, reflect on your intention for the rest of the evening and consider the role you want to play for your family.
One of the best lessons I learned long ago was from Fergus O’Connell, author of How To Run Successful Projects III. Fergus suggested when you get home, imagine a tree out in the front where you hang your hat up.
That hat is all the unsolved problems or nagging issues of your day. You can always pick your hat back up tomorrow.
I used this simple mental hack for years at Microsoft, where I need a way to transition and rejuvenate.
It works wonders!
These simple breaks between activities help sharpen your focus and intentionality, making you more effective and present in your actions.
#3. Find the Main Culprit of Your Overwhelm
Figure out what’s causing most of your overwhelm, ask that magic question, and then take action, whether it’s finishing what you can, breaking it down, seeking help, or renegotiating.
It’s all about regaining control and reducing that overwhelming stress.
So, you’re feeling overwhelmed, and it feels like a big, tangled mess. The first thing to do is to figure out what’s causing most of this chaos.
You want to pinpoint the main source, the thing that’s like the 800-pound gorilla in the room.
Step 1: Ask the Magic Question
Here’s where the magic happens. Ask yourself this question:
“What one or two things, if I could somehow magically make them disappear from my to-do list right now, would instantly make me feel 80% less stressed?”
Step 2: Recognize You Might Not Remove Them Entirely
Now, here’s the catch. You might not actually be able to completely remove these tasks or responsibilities.
They could be things you’re responsible for or tied to, like work projects or family duties. But that’s okay; we’re trying to identify the major stressors here.
Step 3: Take Action
If you’ve identified that big project that’s almost done, well, push through and finish it if you can. Sometimes, just crossing something off your list can give you a huge sense of relief.
But if it’s not about completing a single task, and it’s more about the sheer size of the task or project itself that’s causing the overwhelm, then it’s time to break it down.
Make it manageable. Imagine you’re eating an elephant; you do it one bite at a time.
And if it’s a workload that’s just too much for one person, don’t hesitate to ask for help or additional resources. Sometimes, we carry a heavy load because we’re afraid to ask for assistance. Don’t be.
Finally, if deadlines are what’s stressing you out, and they’re negotiable, have that conversation. Renegotiate those deadlines if it helps you regain some sanity.
#4. Build Boundaries Around Your Time and Workload
Without boundaries, you’ll get overwhelmed.
There is always more to do. There is always another mountain to climb or hill to take. There is always just one more thing.
Establishing boundaries on your time and workload is like building a protective fence around your productivity.
You can do this by employing tactics such as “time boxing,” where you allocate specific hours to work on tasks or projects, ensuring you don’t let them bleed into your entire day.
You might also decide on a fixed time to leave the office daily.
Additionally, don’t hesitate to say “no” to certain types of work that don’t align with your priorities.
Take Michael’s example. Michael used to spend a considerable amount of time acting as a mediator for team conflicts, which not only consumed his valuable time but also encouraged team members to rely on him to solve their issues.
By firmly declining these escalations and setting the expectation that team members should attempt to resolve conflicts independently first, Michael managed to free up more of his time and concentrate on what truly mattered to him, reducing distractions and increasing productivity.
#5. Create a “No” List to Deal with Feeling Overwhelmed
Another very effective strategy is to create a “No List” to help you better use your focus, energy, and time.
Creating a “No” list is a strategy aimed at setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in your life, particularly in terms of your time and commitments.
Here’s an explanation of this concept:
- Protecting Your Time and Space: Your time and personal space are valuable resources. It’s important to safeguard them to maintain your well-being and reduce stress. When you allow too many external demands on your time or space, it can lead to feeling overwhelmed and stretched thin.
- Sense of Control: Creating a “no” list is about taking control of your schedule and decisions. It means recognizing that you have the power to choose how you allocate your time and energy. This sense of control can be empowering and reduce feelings of helplessness.
- Prioritizing Your Preferences: Not everything you’re asked to do or invited to participate in will align with your preferences, values, or priorities. By saying “no” to activities or commitments that you don’t genuinely want to engage in, you free up time for things that you enjoy and that matter to you.
- Dread and Obligation: Many people feel obligated to say “yes” to invitations or requests even if they don’t genuinely want to participate. This can lead to a sense of dread and resentment. Creating a “no” list encourages you to acknowledge your true feelings and act accordingly.
- Replacing Unwanted Activities: Instead of obliging yourself to attend an event or do something you don’t want to do, the idea is to decline politely and replace that activity with something that brings you joy or relaxation. This proactive approach ensures that your time is spent on activities that positively contribute to your well-being.
- Healthy Boundaries: Establishing boundaries is essential for maintaining your mental and emotional health. Saying “no” when necessary is a way of setting clear boundaries and communicating your limits to others. It’s a sign of self-respect and self-care.
Creating a “no” list is a strategy for asserting control over your schedule, prioritizing activities that align with your preferences and values, and maintaining healthy boundaries.
It allows you to decline obligations or invitations that you don’t genuinely want to pursue and replace them with activities that contribute positively to your life and well-being.
#6. Challenge Your Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a double-edged sword.
On one hand, it pushes you to do our best, but on the other, it can make simple tasks feel like climbing mountains.
I had to deal with perfectionism early on at Microsoft, because, it would have ended my career early.
Instead, I learned to embrace progress over perfection and realize that perfection is an illusion and ineffective and inefficient way to solve problems.
Perfectionism often leads us down a rabbit hole where we turn small tasks into Herculean endeavors. We aim for perfection, and in the process, we inadvertently invite procrastination and stress to our party.
Now, enter the 80/20 rule, also known as the ‘Pareto Principle.’
It’s a game-changer.
This principle says that, in many situations, 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. So, the key is knowing when ‘good’ is indeed ‘good enough.’
Here’s the trick: ask yourself, ‘What’s the marginal benefit of investing more time in this task or project?’ If the answer is ‘very little,’ then it’s time to pull the plug and call it a day.
Let’s take Sarah’s experience as an example.
Sarah realized that sometimes, chasing the perfect email response was a diminishing return game. Instead, she decided that ‘done’ was better than ‘perfect.’
This shift in mindset not only saved her time but also reduced her overwhelm. Plus, she learned that we can’t do everything perfectly, and that’s perfectly okay.
So, embrace the 80/20 rule, challenge your inner perfectionist, and remember that ‘”good enough” can be the path to greater productivity and less overwhelm.
#7. Outsource or Delegate the Tasks that Drain You If You Can
Outsourcing and delegating are practical ways to free up your time and focus on what matters most.
If you get creative here, you might really surprise yourself.
Maybe it’s less outsourcing and potentially playing tradesies with a friend.
Think about what activities align with your highest and best use of time, and then consider delegating or outsourcing the rest.
For example, if you find yourself spending hours cleaning your home or preparing meals, consider outsourcing these tasks to professionals who specialize in cleaning services or meal preparation.
This not only saves you time but also ensures that these tasks are done efficiently.
In the workplace, you can delegate certain responsibilities to team members or colleagues who are capable of handling them.
For instance, instead of personally attending every meeting, delegate attendance to a team member who can represent you effectively. If you’re managing multiple projects, consider delegating the management of some projects to trusted team members.
The key is to identify tasks that can be effectively handled by others and trust them to take care of those tasks. This allows you to focus your time and energy on strategic priorities and high-impact activities.
Remember, delegating and outsourcing are powerful tools for productivity and efficiency, so don’t hesitate to use them to your advantage.
#8. Challenge Your Assumptions
When overwhelm becomes your constant companion, it’s time to question those hidden assumptions.
They might be the culprits keeping you stuck in old habits.
Challenge them, and you’ll find more freedom and less overwhelm on the other side.
Here’s how to challenge your assumptions:
Step 1: Recognize Your Assumptions
When you’re feeling constantly overwhelmed, there’s a good chance that deep down, you’re carrying some assumptions. These assumptions are like hidden rules that drive your behaviors, and they’re usually not helping.
Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey call them “Big Assumptions.”
And it’s our “Big Assumptions”, or our “Immunity to Change” that gets in the way of our personal breakthroughs and transformations.
Step 2: Meet Lisa, Michael, and Sarah
Let’s put this in context with three people: Lisa, Michael, and Sarah.
Lisa believed that if she ever dropped the ball on something, it would be a colossal failure, and there’d be no coming back from it.
Michael, on the other hand, had this belief that if he wasn’t there to help everyone all the time, he’d become irrelevant, and people would question his worth.
Sarah thought that if she lost control, her team would mess everything up, and the company would go belly-up.
Step 3: Realize They’re Not Absolute Truths
These big assumptions might feel absolutely real to Lisa, Michael, and Sarah, but that doesn’t mean they’re 100% true.
These beliefs are like blinders. They keep you stuck in old patterns that make you feel overwhelmed.
Step 4: Debunk and Expand Your View
The real magic happens when you start debunking these assumptions over time.
You challenge them.
You ask yourself, “Is this belief really, absolutely, without a doubt true?”
For Lisa, she might realize that making a mistake doesn’t equate to total failure. Michael could find out that his value isn’t solely tied to helping others 24/7. And Sarah might learn that her team can handle things even if she loosens the reins a bit.
Step 5: Gain a Sense of Control
By doing this, you broaden your view of the world. It’s like taking off those blinders and suddenly seeing more opportunities and possibilities.
That’s when you start feeling less overwhelmed and gain a greater sense of control over your life.
From Overwhelm to Empowerment: Navigating Your Journey to Balance and Clarity
These eight smart strategies offer you a clear and simple roadmap to conquer your overwhelm or at least reduce it.
This journey is about progress, not perfection.
Embrace the power of gradual change and cultivate your self-compassion.
By challenging assumptions, setting realistic standards, and focusing on the essential few, you can find your path to a more balanced life.
Trust your inner compass and follow your energy wisely.
As you implement these strategies, you’ll not only regain control but also experience the transformative effects rippling through all aspects of your life.
This is your path from overwhelm to empowerment.
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