Should You Tell People About Your Goals?

“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” — Roy T. Bennett

You can share your goals, but there’s a smarter way to do it.  And the smarter way to share your goals is based on your own motivation, which aspects you share, when you share them, and what you expect by sharing your goals.

Otherwise, the general recommendation is to avoid sharing your goals so you don’t lose your momentum.

Imagine a scenario where you excitedly share your grand aspirations with friends and family, only to find that your motivation wanes and your progress stagnates.

It’s counterintuitive, but research suggests that publicizing your goals can sometimes hinder rather than bolster your chances of achieving them.

I’ll walk through the dynamics of goal sharing and why keeping your ambitions close to your chest might just be the key to unleashing your greatest productivity.

Key Takeaways on Sharing Goals and Achieving Success

1. Understanding the Compulsion to Share Goals: Sharing goals taps into psychological needs for recognition, validation, and support, triggering a temporary boost in mood and motivation. However, it can also lead to a premature sense of accomplishment, dampening the drive required for genuine achievement.
2. The Social Reality Effect: The ‘social reality’ effect occurs when vocalizing goals triggers a feel-good response, making you feel as though you’ve already made progress. This can deceive your brain into diminishing the motivation to pursue those goals.
3. Balancing Sharing and Success: A study published in Psychological Science reveals that sharing goals can reduce the likelihood of follow-through. Receiving indifference from others may increase your chances of achieving those goals by maintaining intrinsic motivation.
4. Dr. Huberman’s Insights: Dr. Andrew Huberman advises against announcing goals prematurely, as it can lead to stress, a loss of motivation, comparison, and criticism. He suggests keeping goals private until you make significant progress, increasing the likelihood of your success.
5. The Power of Privacy: Privately defining goals, immersing yourself in the process, and setting measurable objectives can foster success. Committing to focused pursuit for 12 weeks aligns with societal structures and cultural expectations, bolstering consistency and motivation.
6. Doers vs. Subscribers: Edward de Bono’s distinction between “doers” and “describers” highlights the importance of understanding your tendencies. While sharing goals benefits doers, describers should be cautious, choosing when and with whom to share to preserve their motivation.
7. Goals vs. Objectives Clarified: Recognize the difference between goals and objectives—goals are broad aspirations, while objectives are specific actions that lead to achieving those goals. This clarity informs how you share and aligns your approach with your larger aspirations.
8. Tailored Approaches for Different Personalities: Provide practical tips for sharing goals tailored to personality types:
   • Extroverts: Share with positive, supportive individuals for accountability.
   • Introverts: Utilize journals or vision boards for internal validation.
   • Achievers: Share after initial progress for added drive.
   • Dreamers: Share refined goals with trusted circles.
   • Analytical Thinkers: Discuss with mentors for practical guidance.
   • Support-Seekers: Join online groups for encouragement and accountability.

Why People Feel Compelled to Share Their Goals

The psychological aspects behind the inclination to share goals can be attributed to a variety of factors. When people share their goals, they often experience a sense of relief and accomplishment due to the acknowledgment from others.

This can trigger the release of feel-good hormones and create a temporary boost in mood.

Sharing goals may also provide a sense of accountability and external motivation, as others become aware of your intentions and progress.

However, this external validation can sometimes lead to a premature sense of achievement, reducing the internal drive needed to actually pursue and achieve the goals.

In essence, the act of sharing goals taps into our social and psychological needs for recognition, validation, and support, but it can inadvertently dampen the motivation required for genuine accomplishment.

The Social Reality Effect

You might find it surprising, but research suggests that sharing your goals can actually sabotage your chances of achieving them.

The culprit here is something known as the ‘social reality’ effect.

The social reality effect refers to the psychological phenomenon where simply vocalizing or sharing your goals or intentions with others can lead to a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction as if you have already achieved them.

This phenomenon occurs because when you announce your goals, your brain receives a dose of feel-good neurochemical rewards, which can trick you into believing you’ve made progress even before taking any actual action.

As a result, this premature satisfaction can diminish your motivation to work towards your goals, ultimately sabotaging your chances of achieving them.

A study published in Psychological Science supports the notion that public acknowledgement diminishes follow-through.

The study suggests that when you announce your goals to others, it reduces your likelihood of following through with them.

It’s a reminder that it’s the external validation that takes the wind out of your sails.

Interestingly, the study also suggests that if you receive indifference or lack of attention from others when you share your goals, you might have a better chance of achieving those goals.

This may be because when there’s no external recognition or validation, you’re more likely to maintain the intrinsic motivation needed to pursue your goals diligently.

Dr. Andrew Huberman Warns that Announcing Your Goals Can Hinder Your Progress

In his Huberman Lab podcast, Dr. Andrew Huberman discussed the topic of goal setting and how announcing your goals can undermine your progress.

He cites a study that found that people who announced their goals were less likely to achieve them than people who kept their goals to themselves.

Dr. Huberman explains that this is because announcing your goals can lead to a number of negative consequences, including:

• Social pressure: When you announce your goals to others, you put yourself under social pressure to achieve them. This can lead to stress and anxiety, which can make it more difficult to reach your goals.
• Loss of motivation: When you announce your goals, you may feel like you have already accomplished something, even though you haven’t yet taken any action. This can lead to a loss of motivation and make it less likely that you will follow through on your goals.
• Comparison to others: When you announce your goals, you may start comparing yourself to others who are also working towards their goals. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and make it more difficult to stay motivated.
• Criticism: When you announce your goals, you may be open to criticism from others. This can be discouraging and make it less likely that you will continue working towards your goals.

Dr. Huberman recommends that you keep your goals to yourself until you have made significant progress towards achieving them. This will help you to avoid the negative consequences of announcing your goals and increase your chances of success.

The Power of Keeping Your Goals Private

According to Dr. Huberman, the strategy of keeping your goals private is often more effective than sharing them openly.

While informing certain people for accountability purposes can be helpful, broadcasting your goals can impede progress.

Publicly announcing goals might provide a short-lived dopamine boost, but it can lead to complacency.

Instead, privately define your goals, immerse yourself in the process, set measurable objectives, and commit to focused pursuit for 12 weeks.

This timeframe is chosen because it aligns with the typical quarterly structure often used in business and personal planning.

By following this structure, you synchronize your efforts with the natural rhythms of society and cultural expectations, making it easier to maintain consistency and motivation throughout the pursuit of your goals.

Doers vs. Subscribers

Edward de Bono long ago described two types of people: describers and doers.

de Bono observed that some individuals are more inclined to take action (“doers”) while others are more inclined to discuss and describe their plans (“describers”).

For doers, sharing goals can be motivating and create a sense of accountability. They thrive on external validation and encouragement, which pushes them to keep progressing.

On the other hand, describers may experience a sense of accomplishment merely from articulating their goals, leading to a reduced drive to actually carry them out.

Understanding your own tendencies and motivations is key.

If you’re a doer, sharing your goals can be beneficial. However, if you’re a describer, consider being more selective and mindful about when and with whom you share your goals, to avoid prematurely sapping your motivation.

Differentiating Goals and Objectives: A Key Factor in Sharing Goals

One aspect that often confuses individuals is the differentiation between goals and objectives. While this may seem tangential to the conversation about sharing goals, understanding this distinction can significantly impact your approach.

Goals:

Goals are broad, overarching statements that capture the ultimate outcomes you aspire to achieve.

They provide the compass for your journey, giving you a sense of direction and purpose.

Goals tend to be qualitative, inspirational, and focus on the “what” you aim to accomplish. Example of a goal: “Build a successful entrepreneurial venture that transforms the industry.”

Objectives:

Objectives are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) targets that act as steppingstones toward your goals.

They break down your goals into actionable steps, making them easier to track and measure.

Objectives answer the “how” you will achieve your goals by setting clear milestones. Example of an objective: “Increase quarterly revenue by 15% through the launch of a new product line and targeted marketing campaigns.”

The Goal-Objective Connection:

Think of your goals as the grand touchdown or goal in a football game—the ultimate achievement you strive for. Objectives, on the other hand, are like the yards gained along the way—the specific actions that lead you to your goal.

Bringing it back to sharing goals, understanding this distinction can help you decide when to share and how much to share.

Sharing broader goals may be inspiring and motivating for some, but it’s important to determine whether sharing the more specific objectives that contribute to your goals aligns with your strategy.

By recognizing the connection between goals and objectives, you can make more informed decisions about sharing your aspirations while staying focused on the bigger picture of achievement.

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation and How To Share Your Goals More Strategically

I want to really slow down here because understanding intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation is key to understanding how and when to share your goals more strategically.

Intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation are two distinct types of motivational factors that influence our behaviors and decisions.

They have a significant impact on the decision of whether, when, and how to share your goals with others.

1. Intrinsic Motivation: This type of motivation comes from within. It’s driven by personal satisfaction, enjoyment, and a genuine interest in the task or goal itself. When you’re intrinsically motivated, you’re pursuing the goal because you find it inherently rewarding or fulfilling. Sharing your goals with others might provide a sense of accountability and social support that enhances your intrinsic motivation. However, excessive external validation or attention could potentially undermine your intrinsic motivation by shifting the focus from the intrinsic value of the goal to external recognition.
2. Extrinsic Motivation: Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, arises from external factors such as rewards, recognition, or avoiding punishment. If you’re extrinsically motivated, you might be more inclined to share your goals for the sake of receiving praise, validation, or social approval. However, relying solely on extrinsic motivation can lead to a situation where your focus shifts from the inherent value of the goal to seeking external validation. This can potentially reduce your long-term commitment and persistence, especially if the external rewards fade.

When deciding whether to share your goals and how to do it, consider the interplay between these two types of motivation:

• Strategic Sharing: If your motivation is primarily intrinsic, sharing your goals selectively with individuals who genuinely support and encourage your aspirations can amplify your commitment and maintain your internal drive. On the other hand, if you’re primarily extrinsically motivated, being cautious about when and how you share your goals can prevent you from becoming overly dependent on external validation.
• Balance and Authenticity: Strive for a balanced approach. Sharing your goals in a way that aligns with your motivations can help you maintain authenticity. For instance, if your goal aligns with your intrinsic motivation, share it with those who respect and understand your passion. If external validation matters to you, consider seeking recognition from mentors, peers, or networks that appreciate your achievements.
• Long-Term Impact: Recognize that while external validation might offer immediate satisfaction, your long-term success depends on nurturing intrinsic motivation. Keep in mind that the act of sharing should enhance your commitment and progress, not hinder it.

Ultimately, whether, when, and how you share your goals depends on your understanding of your own motivational drivers.

By aligning your sharing strategy with your intrinsic and extrinsic motivations, you can make informed decisions that support your pursuit of meaningful and sustainable goals.

How Different Personalities Can Share Goals More Effectively

Different personality types may benefit from different approaches to share goals more effectively:

1. For Extroverts and Collaborators: Extroverts thrive on social interactions and external validation. Sharing goals with a close friend, family member, or mentor can provide the accountability and encouragement they need. Opt for positive, supportive individuals who can provide constructive feedback.
2. For Introverts and Reflectors: Introverts often prefer privacy and internal validation. For them, sharing goals with a journal or a personal vision board can be powerful. This way, they can track progress without external pressure while maintaining their intrinsic motivation.
3. For Achievers and Doers: Those who are action-oriented benefit from sharing goals with specific deadlines. They should consider publicizing their goals once they have a clear plan of action and have made initial progress. This approach capitalizes on their drive to meet deadlines and push boundaries.
4. For Dreamers and Innovators: Visionaries may want to keep their goals private initially to protect their creative space. They can later share their refined goals with a trusted circle that understands and appreciates their visionary ideas.
5. For Analytical Thinkers: Logical minds may benefit from discussing their goals with mentors or coaches who can provide objective insights and guidance. This approach combines the need for structure and practical advice.
6. For Support-Seekers: Those who need encouragement can join goal-oriented groups or forums online. Sharing goals in these spaces can provide both support and accountability, aligning with their need for external motivation.

Strategically Sharing Your Goals

In the realm of goal pursuit, the act of sharing our aspirations carries hidden complexities that can either propel us forward or hinder our progress.

As we unravel the intricate psychology behind this paradox, we can use a strategic approach to sharing goals.

The ‘social reality’ effect reminds us that voicing our goals triggers a sense of accomplishment, yet it can lull us into a premature sense of achievement.

Dr. Andrew Huberman’s insights prompt us to safeguard our motivation by being selective about when and with whom we share our aspirations.

In a world intertwined by connectivity, personalized sharing strategies bridge the gap between accountability and personal autonomy.

The distinction between goals and objectives sharpens our focus on both the destination and the path.

Whether we are doers seeking validation or describers seeking clarity, understanding our inclinations empowers us to make informed decisions.

In this journey, timing is important, and nurturing our intrinsic motivation becomes our guiding light.

By embracing these insights, we navigate the fine equilibrium between external validation and inner determination, ensuring that our shared goals become a symphony of purpose and empowerment.

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