How Do You Want to Feel When You’re Doing This?

“Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional, and mental states.” — Carol Welch

Working at Microsoft can be an exhilarating experience, but it also comes with immense pressure and daunting expectations. You can either let the stress consume you or rise above it and emerge stronger and more capable.

I want to share the most powerful productivity technique I’ve used that helps you master your emotional intelligence, manage stress better, and create more enjoyment for any task you do, while building your sense of self-efficacy.

When it comes to productivity, one of the most significant transformations you can make is to change how you feel while doing a particular activity.

There are times when you want to feel calm and mindful to imbue your work with meaning and purpose. Alternatively, you may need to dial up the intensity and spark your inner fire to power through a monumental backlog or a rigorous workout.

Our feelings are habitual, and we must avoid training ourselves to feel stressed or under pressure in the wrong situations. Catching yourself in the act is the first step to change. Start by paying attention to how you feel and ask yourself, “How do you want to feel when you’re doing this?”

This simple shift will elevate your productivity game and pave the way for a more fulfilling work experience. So let’s delve into this further and unlock the key to optimal productivity.

Catch Yourself, Then Ask Yourself, “How Do You Want to Feel?”

I want to keep this really simple so that you can start to practice this skill today.

You can check yourself when you head into your activity, or even right now, whatever you are doing.

And you can ask yourself:

“How do you want to feel?”

Make it a conscious choice, so you can build better identity habits and better productivity habits, and practice empowering emotions versus debilitating ones.  Just asking the question is a start.  Most people do not do this, so you’re already ahead of the pack.

Here are a few examples:

• Exercising: When I go to do my workout, I check in with myself: “How do you want to feel?”  I want to feel strong and I want to feel intense.  I want to be mindful and make it meaningful.  I might do a fast flip through of the thumbnails of vignettes in my mind where I did hard things or where I broke my personal strength or speed records.  If I don’t feel I’m in the right state, then I might play Stronger, by Kanye West.  That gets me in the zone every time.
• Desk work: When I go to sit at my desk, I do a fast and simple check:  “How do you want to feel?”  In most cases, I want to feel calm, cool, and collected.  For example, when I’m working through my day, for the most part, I want to feel calm, confident, and capable.  I’m ready to learn and ready to practice my strategies, skills, and strengths.  If I want to switch into high performance mode, I
• Writing:  When I sit down to write, I remind myself that I want to come from a place of caring and sharing.  I like to practice speed, but I want to be quick, but not rushed.  I want to be fast, but not furious, unless I’m in that el duende space where I’ve lost myself in my art.  Mostly, for consistency and performance, I want to feel a flow state.
• Meeting somebody new:   In these cases, I typically want to come from a place of curiosity and interest.  It helps that I’m always wondering what sorts of adventures has this fellow traveler experience on their journey of life.  We all share the human experience, and yet we all have unique perspectives and experiences to share.
• Presenting:  I avoid getting stressed by putting my focus on how can I help the audience achieve their goals.   When I’m presenting, I want to come from a place of profound knowledge.  I want to help people learn something new and interesting or apply something they’ve learned to make it more effective.   I want to give them at least one thing that they can use for the rest of their life, for the best of their life.

How To Change How You Feel

Changing your state to change how you feel is one of the most crucial skills you can build to perform at a higher level, and achieve your flow state with skill.

You can do great things and solve amazing problems when you’re in a resourceful and relaxed state.

If you want to change how you feel about something, here are some strategies you can try:

1. Trigger your feelings: For example, you might create an anchor by associating a feeling of confidence with a specific gesture, such as touching your thumb and index finger together. Whenever you need to access that feeling of confidence, you can simply recreate the gesture and the associated feeling will be triggered.
2. Reframe your thoughts: Instead of focusing on negative thoughts, try to reframe them into more positive and empowering ones. For example, if you’re feeling anxious about a presentation, try to focus on the opportunity to share your ideas and connect with your audience.
3. Visualization: Visualization involves creating a mental image of a desired outcome or state of mind. For example, if you’re feeling anxious about an upcoming presentation, you might visualize yourself giving a confident and engaging talk, with your audience fully engaged and responsive.  One thing that helps me work through some of my biggest challenges is to “see yourself on the other side.”  I simply picture myself in the future after I achieved my goal and I latch on to that feeling to motivate and inspire me right now.
4. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment without judgment. This can help you to better understand why you feel a certain way and to develop a more positive and accepting attitude towards your emotions.
5. Positive self-talk: Positive self-talk involves using affirmations or positive statements to boost your self-confidence and improve your emotional state. For example, you might repeat statements such as “I am capable and competent” or “I am calm and in control” to yourself before a stressful event.
6. Change your behavior: Sometimes, changing your behavior can also help to change how you feel. For example, if you’re feeling down, try doing something that you enjoy, such as going for a walk or spending time with friends.
7. Consider the bigger picture: Try to think about the long-term impact of your actions and how they align with your values and goals. This can help to put things into perspective and give you a sense of purpose and direction.

Remember that changing how you feel is a process that takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and focus on making small, gradual changes that will help you to develop a more positive and resilient mindset.

Change How You Feel By Changing Your Breathing

This is a technique you can use right now to change how you feel.   First check, how do you feel right now?

Is your heart racing? Do you feel stressed out or anxious?

You can use breathing techniques to change how you feel.   Breathing techniques such as deep breathing, rhythmic breathing, or alternate nostril breathing can help to calm your nervous system and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.

I practice breathing like a Navy Seal.   I use two methods:

1. Combat Breathing: I often use Box Breathing, a technique from the Navy Seals to calm your system down under stress. It’s incredibly simple and yet incredibly effective.  I simply breathe in through my nose to a count of 4, and exhale through my nose to a count of 4.
2. Box Breathing: I use Box Breathing, also from the Navy Seals. I breathe in through my nose to a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale through my nose to a count of 4, and then wait for a count of 4, and then repeat that.

Why two techniques for breathing?   You can do Combat Breathing anytime, anywhere, whenever you need it.   For example, I use it for meetings, or whenever I happen to catch myself in stress mode.

Box Breathing is a way to rewire your nervous system.  Mark Divine, the Navy Seal trainer and creator of the technique, created Box Breathing to teach your nervous system to have a better default.  By default, we take about 16-20 shallow chest breaths per minute.

With Box Breathing, you’re taking in about 4 breaths per minute.

By practicing that for a minimum of 5 minutes a day, but ideally 20, according to Mark Divine, I’ll retrain my nervous system to breathe more deeply, and more fully, naturally instead of shallow, chest breaths, even when I’m not even thinking about it.

Change How You Feel with Power Postures and Movement

Tony Robbins is a well-known motivational speaker and life coach who teaches a variety of techniques for changing how you feel and achieving greater personal and professional success.

One technique he often recommends for changing how you feel is to use physical movement to create a shift in your emotions.

Here are some ways that Tony Robbins recommends changing how you feel through movement:

1. Change your posture: Changing your posture can change how you feel. Tony Robbins recommends adopting a power pose, such as standing up straight with your chest out and your arms raised above your head, to increase your sense of confidence and empowerment.
2. Use your body to express emotion: Tony Robbins suggests using your body to express the emotions you want to feel. For example, if you want to feel more energized, you might jump up and down or do some jumping jacks to get your blood flowing and increase your heart rate.
3. Use movement to shift your focus: Tony Robbins recommends using movement to shift your focus away from negative thoughts and feelings. For example, you might go for a run or do some yoga to clear your mind and focus on your body and breath.

From Chicken to Calm, Cool, and Collected

Here is a story of where I really first started to pay much more attention to how I feel in a given situation.

I would say the biggest shift for me happened in the halls of Microsoft.  A director asked me how things were going across my projects, and I gave a quick rundown.

But my response seemed stressed and harried, and yet, I really was on top of everything.

The director ask me how I wanted them to experience me, “like a frazzled chicken running around?”

I said, “No, more like James Bond.”

“Well then”, he replied, “show up that way and work on that.”

And so I did.

Identity Habits and How You Feel

The most interesting thing here is that before this situation, I hadn’t really made a conscious choice about how I wanted to be experienced in the halls of Microsoft.

But making a conscious choice, changed everything.

I began to notice that in any situation, there are people that remain calm and focused.   Sure, some of them may be making like a duck and paddling their feet off like crazy under the water.  But some are genuinely, present, alert, focused, and ready, with a sense of calm, and a great handle on themselves and on the situation.

They are the captains of their ship.

I noticed patterns at restaurants where the restaurant could be crazy busy.  Some wait stuff would be stressed and on edge, while others, in the exact same scenario, would move through, in a more calm and calculated way.   Same situation, but two very different responses.

I started going to the local comedy club more often where I could see masters of the room in action.  Some comedians created nervous energy and really lost the audience or even would get heckled.  Other comedians, seemed to control the room, and generate a sense of confident energy.

And the true masters could turn the room around.  They would transition the audience from a room of bad energy to a place of great energy and human connection.

Respond, Don’t React

The idea of responding, not reacting is about taking ownership of our thoughts, feelings, and actions, and consciously choosing how we want to show up in the world.

“Responding, not reacting” is a principle from Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” The idea is that instead of simply reacting to situations based on your emotions or instincts, you should take a moment to pause, reflect, and choose a deliberate response that aligns with your values and goals.

Reacting is often an automatic and emotional response to a situation, whereas responding requires a deliberate and thoughtful approach.

By taking the time to respond, you can make more conscious choices and avoid getting caught up in negative or unproductive patterns of behavior.

For example, let’s say you receive a critical email from a colleague that triggers feelings of defensiveness and anger. If you react, you might immediately fire off a heated response without taking the time to consider the situation or the best way to handle it.

However, if you respond, you might take a step back, assess the situation, and choose a more thoughtful and productive course of action, such as scheduling a meeting with the colleague to discuss the issue in person.

Be Quick, But Don’t Hurry

Another lesson that helped me “change how I feel” when performing an activity is the idea of “be quick, but don’t hurry.”

“Be quick, but don’t hurry” is a quote from John Wooden, a legendary basketball coach known for his focus on teamwork, discipline, and personal growth.

This quote emphasizes the importance of being efficient and decisive, but not rushing or making careless mistakes.

In the context of basketball, Wooden used this phrase to encourage his players to move quickly and decisively on the court, but to do so with intention and focus. Rushing or hurrying can lead to turnovers, missed shots, and other mistakes that can cost the team points or even the game. Instead, Wooden encouraged his players to be quick and efficient in their movements, but to maintain their composure and stay in control.

This quote can also be applied to other areas of life, emphasizing the importance of balancing speed and efficiency with intention and focus. When we move too quickly or rush through tasks, we are more likely to make mistakes or overlook important details. However, when we are too slow or indecisive, we may miss opportunities or fail to achieve our goals.

Therefore, being “quick but not hurrying” is about finding the right balance between speed and intention, moving quickly and efficiently when necessary, but taking the time to focus, make deliberate choices, and stay in control.

When I catch myself just rushing through something, I ask myself, “What are you rushing through for?”

This gives me a chance to decide to slow down, to speed up, or to choose to feel a different way, or in fact, to be quick with the activity, but find a way to enjoy it, such as to use it as chance to practice speed, or to learn a faster or better way.

Richard Branson Fridays

This is perhaps one of my most profound transformations.   A friend had given me feedback to “be more bold.”  He really liked how I thought about things, but thought I needed to be more bold.

It sounded like a good idea, but I didn’t know how to actually just “be more bold”.

Then I realized that that Richard Branson was the embodiment of boldness.  When I read his book, Screw It, Let’s Do It, I realized that so much of his incredible success was a by product of him going for his dreams, acting on his ideas, taking bold moves, and living with confidence and courage that compounded on itself.

So, without telling anyone, I simply started to practice Richard Branson Fridays at Microsoft. I would show up, and challenge myself to think and behave as Richard Branson would, as I went about my day connecting with people, solving problems, making pitches, and acting with more courage and confidence, and thinking and acting in bigger and bolder ways.

It worked wonders.  At first, I was worried about losing myself, then I realized all I was doing was stretching myself.  I was trying a different way to teach my mind, body, and emotions of what they are capable of, by trying a persona on for size.

What I later realized is I was breaking identity patterns and helping see myself in a more unlimited way.

This turned out to be a key part of my ability to become a storyteller at Microsoft and to be the head coach for Satya Nadella’s innovation team.   I could not have done this without “changing how I feel.”

Find Your Flow with Agile Results

If you use Agile Results, you will find yourself in flow state more often than most.  Agile Results is a productivity system that emphasizes the importance of continuous learning, adaptation, and experimentation in achieving personal and professional goals.

One of the key benefits of Agile Results is that it can help you to achieve a flow state, a mental state characterized by intense focus, creativity, and productivity.

Here are some ways that Agile Results can help you achieve a flow state:

1. Clear goals and priorities: Agile Results encourages you to set clear, actionable goals and prioritize your tasks based on their importance and urgency. This clarity and focus can help you to eliminate distractions and stay fully engaged in your work, increasing your chances of achieving a flow state.
2. Timeboxing: Agile Results uses the technique of timeboxing to break down your work into smaller, manageable chunks of time. This can help you to stay focused and avoid getting overwhelmed, which can lead to a more relaxed and productive state of mind.
3. Iterative approach: Agile Results emphasizes the importance of an iterative approach to work, where you continuously learn, adapt, and experiment based on feedback and results. This can help you to stay in a state of “flow” by maintaining a sense of progress and momentum towards your goals.
4. Self-awareness: Agile Results encourages you to be self-aware and reflective, regularly assessing your progress and adjusting your approach as needed. This can help you to identify when you’re most productive and what activities are most likely to help you achieve a flow state.

Ultimately, Agile Results provides a framework for prioritizing your work, staying focused, and continuously improving your approach, all of which can help you achieve a flow state and maximize your productivity and creativity.

Learn more about Agile Results on the Agile Results Hub.

Better Energy, Better Results with Agile Results

Agile Results is a whole person productivity system that emphasizes the importance of achieving balance and well-being across all areas of life. By helping you to think, feel, and do your best, Agile Results can also help you to cultivate better personal energy and manage stress more effectively.

Here are some ways that Agile Results can help you achieve better personal energy and well-being:

1. Focus on outcomes, not just tasks: Agile Results encourages you to focus on the outcomes you want to achieve, rather than just completing a list of tasks. This can help you to be more intentional and purposeful in your work, reducing stress and increasing your sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.
2. Prioritization: Agile Results encourages you to prioritize your work based on its importance and urgency. This can help you to manage your workload more effectively and reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed, which can lead to better personal energy and well-being.
3. Timeboxing: Agile Results uses timeboxing to break your work into smaller, more manageable chunks of time. This can help you to stay focused and reduce distractions, leading to increased productivity and better personal energy.
4. Self-care: Agile Results emphasizes the importance of self-care and taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. This can help you to reduce stress, increase resilience, and improve your overall sense of well-being.
5. Continuous learning and improvement: Agile Results encourages continuous learning and experimentation, which can help you to stay engaged and motivated in your work. This can lead to better personal energy and well-being by increasing your sense of purpose and accomplishment.

Overall, Agile Results is a valuable tool for better well-being and stress management because it helps you to achieve balance and purpose across all areas of life.

By focusing on outcomes, prioritizing your work, and practicing self-care, you can cultivate better personal energy and resilience, reduce stress, and achieve greater overall well-being.

Change How You Feel for Better Productivity, Better Results

Asking yourself “How do you want to feel when you’re doing this?” can be a powerful tool for improving your overall well-being and achieving your goals.

By taking the time to reflect on your emotions and consciously choosing how you want to feel, you can develop a greater sense of purpose, motivation, and satisfaction in your daily life.

Whether you’re facing a challenging situation, pursuing a new goal, or simply trying to live a more fulfilling life, this simple question can help you to stay focused on what matters most and make choices that align with your values and aspirations.

So, the next time you find yourself in a difficult or uncertain situation, take a moment to ask yourself: “How do I want to feel when I’m doing this?” and let your answer guide you towards a more positive and empowered mindset.

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